Feel Free to Email: Tedhick@gmail.com 

 

“Whoever came up with the word “mammogram”? Every time I hear it I expect a woman to place a breast in a manila envelope and mail it somewhere.”

 

   We’re Baaack…

A drunken Armadillo and buddies

          Gads nobody even knew we were gone for the last two papers. Our sons Trey, Joel and I spent the last week or so as the guests of the Larry and Cotton Lockwood family of Proctor, Oklahoma. Trey and I met Larry and his son Lacy during a caribou hunt in Canada several years ago and we’ve been friends ever since.

          They invited us down last year for a Sandhill crane hunt over off the Red River a couple miles from Texas. After the crane hunt we stayed with them and hunted whitetail deer on their 1,200 acre cattle ranch. The rolling green hills studded with Oaks looks a lot like here except for things like roadrunners and armadillos (and of course whitetails) popping up here and there.(See Rich’s Outdoor column for stuff on the hunts).
         Most folks in Oklahoma are salt of the earth type folks but some have quirks that are a little hard to understand…a lot like us. Every since our eldest son Trey, saw his first armadillo laying dead along side the road, on its back, looking like it was drinking a beer, he has been obsessed with getting one of the hated things. Last year he and Larry’s son, Lacy, blanked on their attempts to harvest a few. People back there hate them because they tear up gardens,

 did holes for horses and cattle to step in, and carry disease…but that made no difference to Trey and his quest for an armadillo. He wanted to get a “good one” and have it mounted…Well, he did and it was quite a search to find someone who would mount the stinky things.
          Lacy’s dad ranted and raved about the disgusting things having diseases so I looked on line to see what diseases they are supposed to carry…The computer listed leprosy and syphilis (this is true look it up)…how about that for a story? “Honey while I was in Oklahoma hunting armadillos I picked up a case of the clap from handling them.” Not even a blond would buy that story.

   Chamber of Mystery

          Someone correct me if I’m wrong please…and I’m sure they will. The Dixon Chamber of Commerce went on record opposing Home Depot locating out near Cattleman’s on behalf of one local business, Ace Hardware. They pressured the city and the city turned this job producing, tax generating business away…right? They set a precedence protecting local business right?
          Now comes Les Schwab Tire Center wanting to locate between Ramos Oil and Tractor Supply. A half a dozen or more local business oppose this development saying it would hurt them or run them out of business altogether. And what is the chamber doing this time? Nothing as near as I can tell, they are not taking a stand one way or the other. If so, they can now be know at the Dixon Inconsistent Chamber of Anti-Commerce. You gotta either back local businesses equally against big chains or you have to back open development of any businesses that would improve and enhance commerce…as in Chamber of Commerce.
           The city’s stance seems to be (without any pressure from the chamber) that the business can locate here if they wish with their 13,000 + square foot tire and service facility built out on two acres, even though the city has to adjust lot lines and merge two parcels into one…go figure.

 

   First Thing Back…

         Who is the first person you visit after sitting in a tree stand, 18 feet off the ground for five days in a row? Your chiropractor naturally. I get back in to town and went to look for Dr. Troy Stevens (AKA Animal Cracker). I hadn’t been there in a while and ended up in the yogurt shop looking for some relief…he’d moved…like he told me he was going to. He built a new building across the street and around the bend, making a solid investment in the community. It is a little hard to find but with a compass and GPS I located him by standing in Denny’s parking lot and looking east (the way the sun comes up for you city folks) right at his building. He’s at 1330 North Lincoln, moved in and now open for business (kinda at the corner of Lincoln and Stratford… if you get lost call at 678-0170). Troy is unique in that not only does he treat people, but he also provides relief to animals at a special clinic in Sacramento one day a week. He usually helps older arthritic animals with adjustments. I asked him if he would adjust something like a parakeet or armadillo and all I got was a blank stare…so I guess not. But he does do people and if you have back problems and want to try a holistic approach before drugs or surgery I’d give him a try…If you have Kaiser his visits might be covered like ours and you can get free cracking’s, excuse me, spinal manipulations.

   Just Didn’t Get It

          I received several nasty emails from one supposed Veteran calling me offensive names and telling me all local vets now hate me (for what I’m not quite sure). He cussed and ranted and raved like a mad man and I suggested he get some professional help. He seems to be the only one that didn’t understand the satire about the new Vets building and all of the clamor and attention being given to a name or a club rather than a purpose. Everyone else seemed to be bright enough to get the point that we are all very glad to have a new safe building. And now maybe the local vet clubs can put aside their differences and jointly concentrate on helping with serious veteran issues, old vets, and new returning vets and the community…which is what all vet clubs are supposed to do. So hate me if you will, I’ll get over it because councilman Mike Ceremello is giving me lessons on how to cope with hatred.
          I did make an error apparently not hearing it right on the proceeds from the recent dinner. The American Legion, the Legion Auxiliary and the Veterans of Foreign Wars spilt the tickets to sell but the proceeds made from the dinner went to pay for Veteran’s Hall’s bills.
Everyone can call the place what they want but I thought you might find it interesting that the California ABC is requiring the bar to be called. AMERICAN LEGION DIXON POST 208 bar. That’s who has the liquor license. If you go by the hall you will see that is how the state posted it on the public notification poster.

 

   From The Email Bag…

         Just wanted to say thanks for all of your (our readers) help raising funds for Wreaths Across America.  Your efforts made it possible for all 5500 grave sites to be honored with a wreath on December 12, at 9am. Hopefully you can all be there for the event.
You all should be very proud, our community made it happen. Never forget! Thanks, Scott J. Smith

         Ted: We left to come home on Sunday morning from church. Traffic was moving slow and a car in front of us had an Obama bumper sticker on it. It read: “Pray for Obama. Psalm 109:8″. My Bible was in the car so we opened it up to the scripture and read it. Then we started laughing. I couldn’t believe what it said. Psalm 109:8 “Let his days be few; and let another take office.” Bill Daniel

 

   Census Advice

 

           The 2010 Census is about to begin and here are cautions from the Better Business Bureau. The BBB advises people to be cooperative, but cautious, so they won’t become a
victim of fraud or identity theft.
           The first phase of the 2010 U.S. Census is under way as workers have begun verifying the addresses of households across the country. Eventually, more than 140,000 U.S. Census workers will try to count every person in the United States and will gather information about every person living at each address including name, age, gender, race, and other relevant
data. The big question is…how do you tell the difference between a U.S. Census worker and a con artist? BBB offers the following advice: If a U.S. Census worker knocks on your door,
they will have a badge, a handheld device, a Census Bureau canvas bag, and a confidentiality notice. Ask to see their identification and their badge before answering their questions. However, you should never invite anyone you don’t know into your home. Census workers are currently only knocking on doors to verify address information. Do not give your Social Security number, credit card or banking information to anyone, even if they claim they need it for the U.S. Census.
            Remember, no matter what they ask, you really only need to tell them how many people live at your address. While the Census Bureau might ask for basic financial information, such as a salary range, you don’t have to answer anything at all about your financial situation. The Census Bureau will not ask for Social Security, bank account, or credit card numbers, nor will employees solicit donations. Any one asking for that information is NOT with the Census Bureau.
           And remember, the census bureau has decided not to work with “Acorn” on gathering this information. No Acorn worker should approach you saying he/she is with the Census Bureau. Eventually, census workers may contact you by telephone, mail, or in person at home. However, the Census Bureau will not contact you by Email, so be on the lookout for Email scams impersonating the census.
            Never click on a link or open any attachments in an Email that are supposedly from the U.S. Census Bureau. For more advice on avoiding identity theft and fraud, visit www.bbb.org.  Please share this info with family and friends.

   What Kind Of Service?

         I became confused when I heard the word “Service” used with these agencies:
Internal Revenue  ‘Service’
U.S. Postal  ‘Service’
Telephone ‘Service’
Cable TV ‘Service’ 
Civil  ‘Service’
State, City, County & Public ‘Service’
Customer ‘Service’  and even the Secrete Service.
This is not what I thought ‘Service’ meant. But today, I overheard two Dixon ranchers talking, and Ross told Bob he had hired a bull to ‘Service’ a few cows. BAM!  It all came into focus. Now I understand what all those agencies are doing to us. You are now as enlightened as I am…
    
                                                                      #

No Comments »